BEACH DUDE AKA THE DIGITAL NOMAD

As long as the Vans fit (and the socks are pulled up), all fine...

As someone who’s called Portugal home for over 20 years, I remember when it still had a pulse. Sagres, for example, was an El Dorado for the lost and edgy — back when beer flowed at Topas, not mindfulness; when AliSuper was the only dealer for the essentials; and nights in a van above Mareta didn’t come with a sunset meditation schedule. It wasn’t pretty, but it was real. What Portugal has turned into now? Hard to watch without rolling your eyes.

Ahhhhhhhhhh yes, the “authentic digital nomad.” You might be offended by the following - in the worst-case scenario… But in the best case, you take a deep, knowing breath and give it some thought. Self-reflection is, after all, your core…

You lovely souls, who hardly can order a coffee in Portuguese, yet somehow claim you’ve “connected deeply” with the place. You live in neat little expat bubbles, sipping matcha, eating poke bowls… in businesses owned by – surprise -other foreigners.

And speaking of expats - funny, isn’t it? You get to be called expats when you’re from the Northern Hemisphere, while those from the South are labeled immigrants…

You come looking for “community,” then build one locals can’t afford, don’t enter, and frankly don’t need. You host workshops priced like luxury retreats and throw around budgets that cause rents to skyrocket — then wrap it all up and sell it as a “simpler life.”

And while you’re at it, you casually stroll into the rental market with budgets that would make any local landlord’s eyes sparkle, offering prices no one from here can match, then acting surprised when everything around you becomes “so expensive lately.” Curious how that works, isn’t it?

Sure. But as long as there’s sunset yoga and a mindful breathing circle, everything is awesome …

Portugal didn’t get discovered - it got repackaged and sold back with better lighting.

That’s why I painted this dude—the walking epitome of the current vibe—gently wishing him the lifestyle he’s chasing… preferably somewhere far, far away. And yes, the moustache and crop top can absolutely come along for the journey. Amen.